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L’s guide to Grocery Shopping September 6, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — joyfulmamaheart @ 6:02 pm

Alright, everybody, after an extremely trying morning of having to go grocery shopping with my Mama, I decided to write down some guidelines for successful grocery shopping. My Mama seems to need all the help she can get…

Ok, first of all, lets get this one little thing straight: I will sit in the cart, but don’t you dare try to buckle me in. This buckle that came with the cart cover? It’s not a restraining device, it’s a NECKLACE. So don’t try to strap me down, accessorize me!!!


Let’s just face it: Grocery shopping, for me, is a tad on the boring side. Being the brilliant baby that I am, I’ve devised a fun game for us to play. Hand me that package of Jello. Ok, now I’ve tossed it on the ground, pick it up! I toss, you pick up. I think it’s only fair to warn you that if you try and toss the jello into the back of the cart, that is technically considered a penalty, and so I’ll just shriek the “penalty siren” until you give it back to me.

I can be distracted from this game with your cell phone.

And by the way, while we were shopping, I called and hung up on most of the people in your address book. Just a little F.Y.I.

Next, at all costs, keep me away from that weird old guy who said, “She don’t need no hairbow to tell she’s a girl!” He scared the living daylights out of me, and frankly, Mama, I’m disappointed that you let him get so close to me that I could see that I have more teeth than he did. And by the way, I’m going to SCREAM uncontrollably every time we run into him again. Adjust your shopping route through the store accordingly.

Ok, listen. I know daddy was laughing, but I think he may have been serious when he said no more buying clothes for me. I was in the closet with him right before he found you and said that, and he was grumbling something about me having so many clothes crammed in my closet he can’t even look at what’s in there. I think he was pretty serious about the ban, so put those shoes back. I know, I know, shoes are not clothing, but I’m willing to bet that my daddy doesn’t understand the difference between clothing and accessories. And never will.

And don’t you even try to blame that Hannah Montana cd on me. We all know you were the one who wanted it, Mama.

Could you keep my adoring fans away? I’m about tired of having to listen to how adorable I am again and again. The next time someone approaches our cart, I’m going to stage a meltdown. That should get rid of them quickly.

Hand over your shopping list. and pen. NOW. I’m bored.

Also, just so you know, that lady who saw you take my picture thinks you are crazy. Your smile and explanation, “It’s for my blog!” didn’t help. She’s over in produce wondering what the heck a blog is and why it needed a picture of me in the shopping cart.

I know it’s a lot of work, Mama, but for keeping my rules, you get to enjoy the presence of my company while you shop.

And my company is pretty precious!!

 

apparently belching isn’t all he does well… September 5, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — joyfulmamaheart @ 4:09 pm

Yesterday morning, B, L and I were all sitting around the breakfast table, when B raised his hand high up in the air, looking expectantly at me like I was supposed to call on him. I said, “Yes, B?” and he let out the biggest belch I’d ever heard. (Um, I have to amend that. The biggest belch I’d ever heard that didn’t come from my sweet little sister. You just can’t even compete with her.)

After a brief plea to please not do that in class, I whisked him off to school. My day progressed, and between buying groceries, bringing poor sick R food and water, and wiping L’s endlessly runny nose, I listened to my voice mail. I was surprised to hear from the mother of a little boy in B’s class.

Honestly, at first, I was really worried… and my mind started racing. WHAT had B done now?!?! Oh, I just knew it was something bad for this poor little boy’s mama to track down my home number and call. MAN is that boy in trouble…..

But I had jumped to the wrong conclusion.

This woman told me the sweetest story on my voice mail. She said that she and her husband had been so worried about their little boy starting Kindergarten because he is so shy. She said that the first day, he came home just so excited because another little boy had been nice to him. He had been his friend all day! This mom encouraged her boy to go back to school and find out his name. He came back the second day and told her his name was “B”. She said that her son was so excited to go to school and play with B, and the transition has been so much easier than they thought it would be. Did I think it would be alright if the boys played together some time?

Oh, boy. I was just tearing up listening to that message!!

It was such a proud mama moment!!

I just had to marvel at how that same breakfast belcher could be such a wonderful friend to the shy boy at school. B sure is a rambunctious little guy, and at times has left me wondering what to do with him. But he is also such a tender hearted and sweet little boy, genuinely interested in everyone around him.

I feel so lucky to be his Mama, belches and all.

 

Seasonal Outfits… and an explaination!

Filed under: Uncategorized — joyfulmamaheart @ 3:07 pm

It started raining recently at my house… and wow, it has cooled things off! What a relief from those dog days of summer!! Of course, the cooler weather has me thinking about fall… and seasonal outfits, of course!

I am so delighted to have two little ones that I can dress up! L still loves being my own personal baby doll, while B is starting to feel a little bit too cool to wear duds sewn by mama…

Regardless, my sewing machine has been a-humming!

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lil Turkey outfit for Sweet Miss L

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It’s a girl Turkey… had to have a hairbow! 🙂

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And for Mr. B… a matching tie!

Now on to the explanation…. if you are anything like me, you are wondering what is going on with all of my abbreviations! Am I a chronic initial user? Do I really call my children “B” and “L”?

It’s kind of a long story. I do hope you’ll stay with me… it’s about my son’s lunch money.
So my husband, R, is pretty sure someone is out to get us.

I know, this sounds silly. But let me tell you, working at his job in computer security, tracking down fraudsters and hearing all about the different ways to steal money and identities and not have it traceable have left him very paranoid.

In R’s case, it’s left him with a set of enormous identity protection rules to keep our family identity safe. Now that I put some more thought into that, I’m thinking it’s just to keep our bank account safe, I’m not sure how in jeopardy my identity is. Really? Someone else out there want to steal my identity? ‘Cause after a trip to the ER with B this weekend (ear infectionS) and a sick hubby today, I’m thinking I’d love for that identity thief to come try my job out for a day. How’s tomorrow look?? I’ll just kick back and catch up on those 14 hours of sleep I lost in the last weekend. And I’m sure once the trial identity theft day was over, the poor person would be handing me back my identity and running fast in the other direction. At least this week, with all that sickness going around. (and yes, I do understand that that technically is not what identity thievery is. Please understand, I’m very sleep deprived, and when that happens, I start to think I’m funny. We’re all in trouble! Thank goodness I can look this over tomorrow after I’ve slept and hit that delete key if I’ve embarrassed myself too much.)

Now that I’m done rambling, I’d like to get back to the subject at hand, which is that handsome paranoid hubby of mine.

R’s main goal is to protect us, as I’ve stated. He knows he can’t stop every angle of identity theft (cause those thieves, they work the angles.) He just wants to make sure we are not what he refers to as “the lowest hanging fruit”. He wants to make sure that if someone is out there looking for people to defraud, we at least look harder to defraud than the neighbors. (so that they get defrauded instead of us? Man, as I’m typing and thinking about this, that doesn’t make R seem very nice. I’m going to have to go discuss this some more with him. Maybe identity theft protection is not very neighborly.)

So back to those rules. They are pretty simple. He has us do things like not leave checks in our mailbox. I drop them in the locked drive through box at the post office. Apparently if your check falls into the wrong hands, it’s super easy for those thieving bad guys to run off with all of your money. So he’s super careful on this one. I’m not allowed to ever write my credit card number down on anything. If I think I want to order something online, he wants to have a glance at the website first. It’s pretty straightforward. Oh, and we need to have a special bank account for B’s lunch money.

Yeah, you read that right.

It started with B bringing home his school folder just chock full with things requesting our cash. PTO Donation….Fall Fund raiser tickets….School Pictures….and, yes, a little lunch money.

I whipped out the check book, got ready to write a few, when thank heavens for our family financially security, R stopped me. He said he was more comfortable sending cash than a sure-to-be-stolen check, and couldn’t I just go through an ATM later on?

This lead to a heated discussion of just how really stinking likely it is that the school secretary is going to try and run off with our money (apparently, sweet little old ladies sure can steal identities with the best of them) Isn’t it more likely that our adorable five year old would pocket or loose the cash?? (R argued that at least that is only loosing $15, and not the whole bank!) And finally, don’t we have some sort of identity theft protection through the bank? Say said school secretary runs off with our cash, doesn’t the bank have some sort of account protection? (R came back with the “even so, why go through the frustration of that whole process when a little bit of prevention could save us the trouble??” argument.) I could see I just wasn’t going to win this one.

Honestly, for me, it really came down to the fact that for every time I want to send money up to the school, I didn’t want to have to run to an ATM and try and figure out getting the correct change.

I finally just told R that, and it’s when he suggested to Lunch Money Bank Account. (LMBA)

R’s just sure the LMBA will solve all of our problems. By opening a separate account with just a little bit of cash in it, when someone steals B’s lunch money and tries to run off with the contents of our bank account, low and behold, won’t they be upset when they realize all they got was a measly $12.50 of some kids lunch money??

But y’all, since I did promise some honoring and obeying, I guess later today you will find me down at the local bank branch opening our LMBA.

I just really, really hope they don’t ask me what the bank account is for…

I hope this gives you a little bit of insight into what I’m dealing with here. When I wanted to start a blog, after months of enjoying many of yours (and feeling like a creepy lurker, not leaving comments!), R had MANY concerns over our family safety. Again, that honoring and obeying thing came into play… 🙂
So I’d like to introduce myself. I’m J… a stay at home mama to two wonderful little kiddies, B (5) and L (1). My often funny and always protective hubby is R.   Welcome to my little spot in the blog world!  I hope you can overlook our quirky initial names,  and come visit me every now and again!